Upset about forcept delivery?

hello this has been bothering me for a while. During the birh of my first child I had a terrable experenice.After pushing for 5 hours the dr anounced the baby was "sunny side up" therefore I needed intervention.WITHOUT MY PREMISSION I was givin a mid-forcept delivery after the baby was born I had a thrid degree tear to my vagina and rectum which required stiching and let me with severe and unbearable pain now 5 years later I am wetting my self I noticed a problem with urin loss after giving birth and it has progressivly gotten worse this experence has caused me to not go back to my gynocologist I am worndering if the forceps are to blame also was wanting advice on the fact I was not asked nor informed about the use of forcepts I would have never agreed to this the nurse even said that I have been pushing for to long and was going to ask about a c section